Light Be

by beogravel  deviantart.com

 

Everyone or at least most people know of the Bible verse Genesis 1:3 'And God said "Let there be light", and there was light.'  Yes there is light and we are surrounded by light and when we hang with God we have light in us.  I was 2 the first time I asked "Jesus into my heart."  All I knew was there He was good and that He died so that we could live and I believed that this was good. So I guess that's the day many people would say I was a Christian and Light lived in me.

This was all good and great and Godly but did I really understand?  That is the question noone can answer.  I know though that God honoured the longing I had to have goodness in my life and there were many times I felt and heard him while I grew up.  Light was and is my friend.



Many of us can relate to times in their lives they have let the shadows in or they seemed to take over.  I have many such times and as the shadows came I would start to give into them. Why?  I didn't actually believe I had light IN me.  I know I am not the only one that at times have let the shadows take over and there are years in my life sometimes years at a time that I lived in the shadows believing the light was far away as I believed the lie that light was for others and not for me.

 by simplelifegirl devinantart.com

 Luke 11:34
Your eye is the lamp of your body; when your eye ( your conscience) is sound and fulfilling its office, your whole body is full of light; but when it is not sound and is not fulfilling its office, your body is full of darkness.

 by Mysois deviantart.com

I didn't believe in the light that lived in me and therefore the light was darkness, it no longer existed as God does not force His agenda onto you.  Luke 11:35 says Be careful, therefore that the light in you is not darkness.  I was living still in darkness!

If we don't come to God and ask Him to live in us realising that as Christ died so does our old selves we actually stay unbelievers and living in darkness!  We are light, when we ask God to take over we become new people, we no longer have darkness!!! When we realise that we can command the shadows in our lives to leave!  GOOD GOD!




It's like it says in Isaiah 9:2-3

Those who walked in the dark
   have seen a bright light.
   And it shines upon everyone
   who lives in the land
   of darkest shadows.
Our LORD, you have made
   your nation stronger.
   Because of you, its people
   are glad and celebrate
   like workers at harvest time
   or like soldiers dividing up
   what they have taken.
When we claim what is rightfully ours, when 'wake up' and realise we no longer need to live in the land of the darkest shadows we can take the land and cause it to light up!  Imagine living like that! Walking into dark places and not needing a torch or walking into a dodgy situation and bringing everyone to their knees and drawing them into the light!  Isn't that what God intended for us?  How else do we pray for the sick and see them recover?  It's simply chasing the shadows away!

x LIGHT BE x

What is in a name?

Today I want to talk about names, it's one of my "things" that I love and feel passionate about.  I ferociously disagree with the quote by Shakespeare 

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose

By any other name would smell as sweet."

by narfignugan via DeviantArt

I believe a name can make or break a person.  For example would you call your child Ugly Duckling?  Or Fatso?  I wouldn't think so. But why do we still insist on calling our children things that have no meaning to us or have terrible meanings or history to them.  Would you call your child Stalin?

Leah for instance may be a fairly pretty name but it's meaning is Weary or tired.  In the Bible she was the ugly sister with bad eyes that Jacob got tricked into marrying!  Although she ended up bearing many children for him would you call your child Leah based on that?  Esau in the Bible was named because of his red hairy body but he was also weak and sold his birthright to his brother Jacob as he never really saw his worth.  Would you run out and be eager to call your child Esau?

by Ounce-Cat via DeviantArt

Here are some beautiful names with wonderful meanings. (green unisex, blue boy, pink girl)

Alexis - Defender

Eliada - God knew

Emmanuel - God is with us

Ella - Bright light, torch bearer

Hallelya - Glory to God          

                                             

Jed- God's beloved

Kei - Joyful, One's glory

Molly - derived from Mary meaning: wished for child.                        

Noah - Rest, comfort

Stephane - crown of glory

Toby - God is good

Zachary - The Lord remembers

These a just a little handful of names that I thought some may like with great meanings.  A name is important for a person and can shape who they are.  There are so many stories of people with the same name have similar personalities and even events in their lives!  What's in a name?  Well I call my God Abba, Yaweh, Jehovah His son Jesus or Jeshua but I would never call them Jacob (deceiver)!

Whats the Story?

I thought I would start writing a series on my life....sound boring?  READ ON cos it ain't.

Born 1982 in Hamilton New Zealand, I was anything but the usual second child in a lower middle class family.  My older brother, Autistic and me I was born with health problems that ended being a huge part of my life.  My mother who was only 26 and a nurse knew that there was something wrong, but the doctors had a hard time believing.  I cried most of the time and seemed to be in pain.  My head was bigger was healthy and growing pretty rapidly, but after 4 months of pain and the doctors realised my mother was right, something was wrong.  I was diagnosed with Hydrocephalus, a condition that means the cerbral spinal fluid (spine and brain fluid), could not flow away from the brain and be absorbed by my body, I also produced 5x the normal daily amount of fluid so there were two reasons to take action. The doctors operated on my and fitted my brain with a shunt (a tube with valves that allow the fluid to flow to a cavity by my heart.)  Normally this would be most of the story, most people with Hydrocephalus has very few problems with their shunts and only need changes when it needs to be lengthened.  Unfortunately this was not my story.  I had major problems with my shunt....Bored yet? 

...I didn't think so.

So when my shunt got placed it took a while before my body adjusted and I spent that time in Hospital.  My poor mother and father had Matthew to think too.  He was not only Autistic but had eye problems, cerebral palsy and number of other health issues.  When I was at home my big brother loved to look after to me and I doned the nicked name Snowy or Snowball with my white hair.  He helped Mum change my nappies and if I had nappy rash he would slather nappy cream on my bottom.  He wanted to be the best big brother ever....

When I was 2 1/2 my little brother was born, Daniel.  He also had Hydrocephalus and if the doctors didn't believe Mum before they certainly didn't this time even more as Hydro (for short) is not hereditary OR genetic.....

To be continued....

Laughing Over Various Ecstasies

All you need is love.....
How many times have you heard this and just overlooked it as it is just another quote or saying that everyone says.  Have you really sat down and written down why YOU personally need love?  LOVE

By Vladm (via DeviantArt.com)

The title is Laughing Over Various Ecstasies - L > O > V > E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Something I have always believed but have not experienced much of until recently is the Ecstasy of Love!  Love is not just a feeling, a thought, a kind word but its and JOY it's overwhelming HOPE and its FAITH.  Love is the greatest of these but also encompasses these.  I had an experience of Love with my Papa God at church this week and all I felt was pure ecstasy including Joy, Hope and Faith...I felt joy, I became much more hopeful for the future (not just mine but the world's) and my Faith increased and it was because of my Faith that God Loves me He HONORED it and led me to the Laughing Over Various Ecstasies, and I tell you now I was truly Laughing for hours.  This meeting at church started at 6pm and I was so taken in by God's L.O.V.E that I was there until 4.30am the next morning!  WOW  He LOVES US. 

By Rambotheif (via DeviantArt.com)

For the love of C.S. Lewis

Not just an amazing author of children's books like the Narnia series; C.S. Lewis' has many alive and well quotes that I was reminded of today when I was thinking about what to write.  I found a neato website called Brainy Quote and looked through the list of C.S. Lewis quotes and thought I would blog my favourites.

Has this world been so kind to you that you should leave with regret? There are better things ahead than any we leave behind

A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell.


Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.

Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important.


I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.

I gave in, and admitted that God was God.

If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning: just as, if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never know it was dark. Dark would be without meaning.

If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair.


Miracles are a retelling in small letters of the very same story which is written across the whole world in letters too large for some of us to see.

Miracles do not, in fact, break the laws of nature.

No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear

Reason is the natural order of truth; but imagination is the organ of meaning.

The safest road to hell is the gradual one - the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts.

There are two kinds of people: those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, "All right, then, have it your way."

Thirty was so strange for me. I've really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult.

You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body

Fall in Love

I have been an in love Christ follower for over a year now.  I grew up in the church, my parents strong followers of God and in a fairly Charismatic church but I never loved God in my heart just knew in my head he was real.  I have had an interesting life and maybe one day I will blog more about it but see my first few blogs to get a sense of how my life has been.  God was so obvious in many aspects of my life I couldn't run away even when I really really REALLY wanted to. 

That is a self portrait of me last year, although I was starting to know God it wasn't until this year I had a BAM moment and fell in love

When I had a light bulb moment of God's love I really did!

I knew so well that God loved me and there was and IS no one that can convince otherwise.  It is just so true. It all happened at a conference called Supernatural Life and a guest speaker an amazing man of God called Rolland Baker.  He first asked for all those crazy and out there people to come onto the stage. Well anyone who knows me knows that I am definately one of those people...so I ran up onto the stage like he said and BAM all of my body turned in what can only be described as light and electricity!  I was so charged up and happy I couldn't contain it.  I had depression for 14 years I NEVER really got that happy, I faked it often but never really felt it.  This night I did and I fell in love with God.  I haven't had any antidepressants since, not one!  God is so good!

Who's feeling Deviant?

I thought I would do a blog post on some of my favourite Deviant artists.  I am a user of Deviant aRt myself and love that my photography gets free publicity as well as looking at other Photographers and artists giving me inspiration and a 'BUZZ' of pleasure just having a look at them.

"Dawn Whispers" by Deeevilish

"Lost Innocence" By titusboy25

"The Sound of Silence."  By Liessa

"Love" By LadybirdM

"Love" By nyinaa




Have a browse on Deviant Art You will find many inspiring ideas!  So many kinds of art and so much talent from all around the world. 

Burning the Midnight Oil

Okay, not a big fan of the band, though I did almost perform a dance to "I'm too sexy" dressed as a cat @ school when I was 10 but not a big fan.  Really though I am not talking about Midnight Oil, New Kids on the Block (the band I actually danced to) or my childhood.  I am talking about the fact that it's 4am and I am still very awake and blogging it up instead of sleeping, I may regret this as the sun starts the kiss the cheeks of the neighbourhood.  My right hand it far more colder than my left although it's my right hand doing most of the work with the mouse and the keys on the keyboard...well that part I can't be sure of.  Oh dear I must be rambling.  Lets see.

As the night wind blows, the midnight candle out

The change in my mood is clear,                       whom shall I fear?

Joy a candle that no wind can blow out, sails the songs on my heart and lifts

Life into being free.

Free to be ME

          no matter what the cost to what the world believes

                                                                                             I have no desire for such things

Whistling Midnight winds that sing such lonesome lullabies

No not my thing at all

Yeah thats it.  Exactly what I was thinking a poem.  Hmm, slice that one up and place on the saucer with your tea! YUMMY!!!!

An inspirational blog

Here's a blog that I fell upon and find truly inspiration...So heres a shout out to Notebook Doodles


Notebook doodles

Its filled with cute pics of doodles like these

Crown of Thorns

,I know that when people think of a crown of thorns they think about Jesus wearing it.  I know I do, but lately I have realised that I have self inflicted my own crown of thorns,  wearing something I am not supposed to.

What does it mean?

I carry punishment, I carry self-hate, jealousy and hurt because I don't believe I am good enough.  The truth is its only by Grace that I am set free.  God sent his only son to earth so that we could be worthy enough to be with him forever.  I know that I am not the only one who carries the crown of thorns that was meant only for Jesus in order to set us free.  But we must let go God is so good to us that its in his goodness that we are set free.  It's in his love that we are set free.  But we must let go.  To live we must die to ourselves, as much as it hurts and as much we think its about us it's actually about him.

When we let go we will realise that letting go is the softest thing to do.  As we let go, as we die to self, as we realise that we are wearing a crown of thorns and repent to God, in His goodness he will show you who you really are and how we really are part of his kingdom, ROYAL

LOVE

I want to be a dancing act that people look at and smile.  I need to be that person that inspires love and laughter and I desire to BE love.  I long to be a little girl in a cute dress dancing, smiling for love.


When we look at babies most of us look and think wow amazing little creation, and if they smile it makes us smile.  Why do we lose the ability to see that in others when they are older?

What makes us smile when we see a kitten shake on its feet or a baby barely walking?  Why do we lose that enchantment as we get older?

I will leave you to ponder this.

Whats the idea?

Have you thought about what the ideas you have that are running about your imagination? Have you rested, closed your eyes and dreamed about your dreams? 

Some of us think we know all our dreams, so have you asked for more?  If you say you aren't sure you want anymore dreams the question is then why not?  

Sometimes I think I see my dreams everywhere I look and I can't deny them.  I love dreaming, I was born to dream, I daydream all day and I know its ok. 

Lately I have been dreaming about being a Prophet, I walk around wanting to prophesy about everything.  I got on the bus to town and thought what is going on with these people Lord?  And pray accordingly, I get off in town and walk around praying the whole time envisioning a trail of gold light behind me everywhere I go.  I know this concept might be new to you but dream a dream, dream it into being and no dream is too bigh

Girl Dates

Hahaha so I don't blog for a bit and now that it's Easter I blog twice in one day!  Anyway just wanted to show you what you get when you go on a Girl Date with me haha.

 To start the date off I picked my bestie up and took her to a nice restaurant and asked for the best potato wedges they could make along with a fancy glass of water.

Dressed in a nice outfit of a black lacey dress, black dress pants the wig came later haha.  

We then went for a lovely drive out in the country and explored the beautful landscape 

 We then had a nice feed of curry at the noodle shop making sure the homeless lady had some to eat.  Lovely Margaret, she is such a beautiful princess in God's eyes if she only knew.

 Last but not least we blobbed out in front of a couple of dvds, "Gifted Hands"  and "I am Reed Fish"

I then took her home oh what a lovely time

EASTER

Oh my it's been a while!  I have been super biz biz but thats no excuse. 


Jesus DIED and he LIVES again!!!!! JESUS is my homeboy.  What he did for us all is amazing and can not really be described well its all too much.  But here's the thing, he died so we could live! 


LOVE is what he stands for, and friendship is who he is. 

I took this photo to show who he is...A nativity scene seems out of place at easter but the thing is, it's his life we are celebrating not his death. 

Is Fashion Fashionable?

There is been so much publicity about models dying of starvation being well below the starvation level of BMI.   I was reading an article in "her" magazine about all this.  A BMI of 16 is starvation two of the dead models were well below that level.  What is the world coming to?  It's something that echoes many of our thoughts over and over but really what is happening?  Do we need to lay back and accept dying models?

On the flipside the emphasis on big models is becoming the norm.  This is also as dangerous and unhealthy

.  What could this mean?  An emphasis on overeating and bad lifestyles?  How is that different from models starving themselves?  It would also end in death. 

Hmmm I think society has a problem with moderation and balance dont you think?

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

What if I am not good enough II

Last blog I wrote I had not finished exactly what I had to say because I was in a space that I could not put it into words.  Here is the continuation.
How can others love you if you don't love yourself?  Yes it happens people do love people who do not love themselves but can we really expect unconditional love or love that will withstand hard times if we will not withstand it ourselves?  Personally I have had many times where I have realised that I really do not love or even like myself at all.  Not on bit.  During those times I was most alone.  If we think that we are unlovable that is what you will see in others.  A slight cringe, an unthoughtful word, not getting enough attention, no as many texts as you expect.  All these can cause belief that you are unloved and unlovable; but only if you already believe it. 
What if you started out to love yourself more.  Why should you love yourself more? Because Christ did and still does.  If you were the only person on Earth Christ would have still died for you.  That fact alone shows that you are worth loving.  There are always tons of reasons to not like yourself.  One of mine is that I am overweight and when I think about that I am disgusted and ashamed.  However if I stop my train of thought as soon as I realise I am thinking like that and replace it with the fact that God loves me soooo much it helps.  It may not transform your mind straight away, does anything transform quickly and easily?  It needs to become practise; one day at a time.  Love one another because Christ first loved you means also to love yourself.  It doesn't matter if you aren't good enough God will always love you no matter what you have done.  NO MATTER WHAT!!!!

What if I am not good enough?

I am not the only one to ponder the question of whether or not we are good enough.  The question need not be specific but can encompass everything.  There have definately been many times when I have not felt good for anything.  There have been many times I have looked in the mirror and said to myself, "Why am I here?  I am not good enough at anything and look at me who could love me?"  If I am honest I would say that the times I did that I would start to pull myself apart by going through each part of me and saying what I hated crying and getting even more depressed.  "Look at me.  Who could love me? Look at that double chin, those weird freckles, the frizzy hair, the dark circles around my eyes, I may have studied hard but I am never going pass anyway.  I am so useless and ugly whats the point?"   Does this sound familiar?  It is so easy to say those things to yourself and its just not true.  What's worse is we can fall into the trap of only listening to the negative things people have to say about us and not the possitive.  I know it can be difficult to not believe what are really just lies, especially if it comes from family or close friends.  One area the negativity can manifest itself is through our weight, eating badly can be a 'punishment' for not feeling good enough, even if its not eating much at all its all the same.

Don't be deceived.

You aren't alone most of us are the same,  it can take a long time to grab hold and pull yourself out of the self loathing.  If we all walked around with a sign asking for we most wanted in our lives the sign would say LOVE ME <3

Love me the way I am.  I know I am so imperfect but I do try. Love me please.  I want to please you so much.  When you look at me do I disgust you?  Am I beautiful?  Am I attractive?  Do you want me?

The thing is we all carry around an invisible sign, we all need love.  But you can't receive love until you learn to love yourself.  TBC