To be honest with you, I wasn't sure about this stage in my journey. The signs were all there that it was right, but there was very little choice too and that made me feel uneasy. I could have stayed in Hamilton, where I felt stuck, felt unseen, unheard and misunderstood...but was also still very comfortable and familiar. Or I could move up to Whangarei, where I knew no one and have only heard of the great people up here. So I tested the waters and God pointed up here and I went.
Now that I am here, I am feeling the most accepted I have ever felt in my own country. I have felt the acceptance of friends, but not of a community of people. This is awesome news for me cos I have some growing to do.
Here in Whangarei, I have been myself wholly, and there has been nothing but love and acceptance. No gossip, no backstabbing, no lies, no mean comments, no shame or guilt for being me. It's been so refreshing. In fact there are people that are a little like me up here, albeit they are a bit younger than I, and that shows me how young at heart I really am, but this doesn't worry me.
There has been such a sense of medicating up here for me. It's like the wild coastal wind and bird songs have guided my spirit on a journey. I have come to realise my insides are incomplete and no because I want them that way, but because of hurt. When you are like that you need a place like here to bring you to a wholeness you have never known. It is here I have been most confronting with myself, more real with what is going on in my heart and learning not to be afraid to tell myself how I really feel.
This is the Grace that I need now.
